A Self-reflection

By addinaf - 1:52:00 PM



I'm turning 29 today.
This is my 2nd birthday in what-so-called lockdown or quarantine or red-zone, or whichever you prefer.
Honestly, I don't mind at all.

I learned a lot just in a span of a year, and these are some of them (that I have the gut to share):

I learned that I still can get acne even in my late 20's. Even more than when I was in my early 20's.
I learned that I easily (both) gain and lose weight. I lost 7kg by the end of the year and I'm trying my best to maintain it, I failed and now my weight is kind of settled after I gain another 3kg.
I learned that I love baking, especially cookies.
I learned that I love coffee.
I learned that I love walking and having outdoor activities. Last year was my most active year so far (after the infamous lockdown in Italy), my husband and I went out a lot in nature, hiking, trekking, swimming, etc. We love it a lot and planning to maintain our outdoor activity routines even though just as simple as walking in the park nearby.
I learned that being an adult is mostly about paperwork. I've been learning about this since the first time I moved to Italy, but the importance of paperwork is, even more, increasing each year.
I learned that I have anxiety towards paperwork because of the reason I mentioned above. I never have the intention to avoid them but I always feel like maybe I missed something.
I learned that happiness must be earned by yourself instead of given.
I learned that the smile lines were called that way because you smile and laugh a lot, not the opposite. It's okay and such a good sign, I guess, to have the smile lines anyway.
I learned that I still don't want to have a kid yet.
I learned that living with my husband and my cat is actually enough happiness for me and I don't bother to risk it.
I learned that it's okay to be just a common-regular person in this big world.
I learned that maybe I failed a lot too.
I learned that I still and will always learn something new and it's good to have that curiosity to learn something new.
I learned that I'm more anxious to meet relatives and/or acquaintances rather than strangers.
I learned that it's relieving to admit your mistakes.

I wish nothing but all the good things ahead.

---

Disclaimer: This post was originally written in March (my birth month), but I decided to keep it as a draft. Some of the lists were posted on my Instagram post. Today, almost four months later, I decided to post this anyway.

---


Addina Faizati
Early spring, 2021

PS: I don't know what I feel like it is so difficult for me to put my raw thoughts here.
I'm not even sure what kind of trauma makes me feel anxious like this.
I still writing some but mostly, I'm keeping it to myself.

  • Share:

You Might Also Like

0 comments