I never thought before that forgiving could be this hard.

That oh-so-hard-you need days, weeks, months, or even more years to forget. ‘Cause for me forgiving is not forgiving until you can forget it. But you are close to it when your heart didn’t beat faster when you remember that moment.

For me, maybe there are some phases to forgiving. Angry (when you hate it so damn much!) – Trying to accept (but still can’t) – Accepting  – Forgetting (which means forgiving).

I remember the moment about a year ago while I’m driving home casually today. I just randomly trying to remember what date is it and my mind flew back away to the moment almost exactly a year ago. I have a special feeling to that moment, which I hate so damn much that I couldn't explain to you.

Today, I realized something that forgiving is hard, I know I still can forget it (which means I still couldn't forgive it), but my heart’s reaction is not the same with what my heart did a year ago. I think I’m closer to the ‘forgiving’ phase. I feel calm and warm.

Maybe for now I am accepting for what happened, for that moment a year ago.
Yes, you can judge me for this one-moment-hard-to-forgive thing.

And, yup, now I know that forgiving could be that oh-so-hard.