I was dreaming about home, I was dreaming I'm in the car and in the familiar street in my hometown nearby my house there. Perhaps it was because I have a homesick, or because I miss some people in my hometown, or because of a lot of things recently here. I don't know, and I'm not sure either.
I also thought about where should I stay and settle down my self in the future. I always wish I could stay here, but, there are a lot of things that I should consider to decided to stay, like, forever. If I could, anyway. I will surely try my best to get whatever that I want and I think it will be good for me, but nobody knows what the future will be.
I need to think about the best and the worst scenario, which I believe that everything will be the best for myself. I still consider myself to start thinking about which stuff I should keep and which one I don't need anymore. I need to throw some kinds of stuff away and donate some clothes. As well I should think what if God fulfill my wish and let me stay here for a while? I should learn Italian, and I should consider finding another house to stay in, and so on and so on.
Everything is just temporary. Sometimes, some things that I have, I only take them for granted. In fact, I should be grateful for everything that I have now. Even all will be only temporary. At some points, I will finish my study (soon, amen to that), the happiness (and the torture) as a student will be only temporary. I should think to go back to my hometown, my scholarship will end, which is temporary as well. If I want to try to find a job here, I only have one year chance, temporary chance. Not forever.
My makeup is temporary. Clothes are temporary cover as the season and trends change. Age is a temporary number. Status is a temporary label. Words are a temporary statement. A feeling is a temporary mindset that you decide which you want to keep it or not. Time is a temporary limit.
In the end, everything is just the series of temporary. Nothing is forever. Everything has their time limit. Temporary meaning that you should be progressive, you should develop yourself in order to 'move' before the time limit. By move doesn't mean that you have to move your house, work, or city, but how you move in a better way or in a better mindset.
Furthermore, I also think that this kind of mindset about understanding that life is the series of temporary and developing yourself could make myself living better and more mature to face some phases of life, either happy or shitty. Because in the end, everything will be temporary. Life is the series of temporary.
"When you finally realize that nothing is permanent in this life, you will become more tolerant, more forgiving, and less judgemental." -- Mufti Ismail Menk
Addina Faizati
Milan, 2018
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